Conscious Choice: Is Homeschooling For You?

May 2001

Is Homeschooling For You?

by Marty Layne

Homeschooling has gained credibility in recent years, but it’s still not for everyone. How can you tell whether it’s right for you and your children? Listed below are twelve character traits I’ve found to be conducive to homeschooling success. The first one on the list is the only characteristic you need to have before you start; the others can be developed as you go along.

1. Genuinely like your child or children and enjoy his, her, or their company. If your child is going to spend most of his/her waking hours in your company, it’s vital to his/her well being that you enjoy the daily interactions between you. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be moments when you need and want peace and quiet and some time to yourself. However, if you are frequently resentful of your child’s need for you and you are constantly irritated by your children’s presence, homeschooling your children will not work for you.

2. Have a sense of humor. It gets you through the rough spots — and makes lessons more fun, too.

3. Be able to read, write, and do basic math — and be willing to upgrade your skills as necessary. You do not need a college or university degree to teach your child at home. You do need a basic proficiency in reading, writing, and math. If you can read children’s picture books aloud; write a letter; and multiply, divide, add, and subtract you have the basics I am talking about. There is a wealth of material available to help you homeschool your children: textbooks, guidebooks, and prepackaged curriculums as well as information on the Internet.

4. Have a commitment to a philosophy that leads you to homeschool. It’s not enough to homeschool because you don’t like what happens in your local public school. You need positive reasons to help you through the rough times you will inevitably have.

5. Be willing to develop communication/listening skills. Communication is the key to any relationship. Learning to listen and speak clearly is vital to successful homeschooling.

6. Be prepared to receive criticism for your decision to homeschool. Unlike many other parenting decisions, the decision to homeschool is very visible and may affect members of your extended family. It might be helpful to prepare your extended family by letting them know why you have made the decision to homeschool. When you give them this information, let them know you are not expecting to persuade them one way or the other, you are just informing them. You might also let them know that while you don’t expect agreement from them about your decision, you do expect their respect and cooperation.

7. Have a support system or network and/or a supportive partner. There are many support systems available for homeschooling parents. For some people, meeting with others in a group on a weekly or monthly basis is a must. For others, it’s enough to have just one or two close friends who can listen. Magazines, chat rooms, and phone calls can also help you feel less alone as you educate your children outside the cultural norm.

8. Be able to learn from mistakes. Making mistakes is a natural part of learning. Everyone makes mistakes when trying something new. Homeschooling gives parents many opportunities to learn from their mistakes.

9. Be willing to develop limit-setting skills. Because homeschooling children are home nearly 24 hours a day, it is imperative for homeschooling parents to learn how to set limits and boundaries. The ability to set boundaries also helps ensure children’s physical and emotional safety when they are not at home.

10. Be willing to develop patience. Many people say to me, "Oh, I could never teach my children. I don’t have the patience." They comment on my patience and assume that this is a quality that I was born with. It’s certainly true that if you don’t have any interest in learning patience, homeschooling would not be a good idea. However, if you are willing to develop patience, homeschooling provides many opportunities to do so.

11. Be willing to develop observational skills. In order to help a child learn something, it is vital that you know your child. The more in touch you are with your child’s way of learning, the easier it will be to find material that will match his or her learning style.

12. Be willing to change. All the characteristics I have listed up to now point the way to this last one — a willingness to change, to being flexible and responsive. Children are always growing and changing. As a homeschooling parent you have the opportunity to be an active participant in your child’s growth. As a side effect, you will find yourself growing and changing as well.

If you are interested in homeschooling your child or children, here are some suggestions about what to do next. Libraries and the Internet are a good resource at this planning stage.

1. Check out your state’s requirements for homeschooling.

2. Find out how these requirements are handled in your local school district.

3. Read books, magazines, etc. about homeschooling.

4. Attend a few local support groups and talk with parents who are homeschooling.

Remember that everyone who homeschools does it differently. That’s one of the delights of this method of education — you can design it to fit your family’s unique needs. —ML

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