October 2004 | BackWords
Wicked Perceptions
by Jennifer R. Catlin
AS THE LEAVES on the trees bend to autumn’s will, the chill in the air tells my body winter is near. Like most people, I’m flooded with childhood memories: trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins and baking pies. However, my spirituality now calls for a special understanding of the season. To many, October signifies Halloween, but for me it’s Samhain (SOW-IN) (Summer’s End) and La Festa Dell’ Ombra (Shadow Fest). They are the ancient Celtic and Etruscan traditions of honoring departed loved ones and preparing for the cold. It is a time to transform, go into the dark and gain wisdom. I thank deity for blessing me, keeping me fed, clothed and sheltered. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a witch.
What breaks my heart about admitting this is some believe my soul is lost to Satan. This is simply not true and the result of hundreds of years of propaganda by organized religion.
Witch Trials Were Political
Although many conventional religious books prohibit knowledge or use of witchcraft, consider that many of these were written in a time when men viewed women as the “weaker sex.” Nowadays we are quick to judge writers for being too biased or intolerant. But bias and intolerance existed hundreds of years ago. In college, something galvanized in me when my instructor, who had a doctorate in biblical studies, encouraged us to evaluate the Bible like any other source of information.
Putting blind faith in a book can wreak total havoc. Just look at the affects of the Malleus Maleficarum during the Middle Ages. Written by Dominican priests in 1486, the Malleus Maleficarum or The Witch’s Hammer became the official guidebook for persecuting witches in Europe and at the Salem Witch Trials. The text describes how to identify, persecute and punish witches. The translated version’s introduction said up to 9,000,000 suspected witches were killed. Most were women, but men and children were among many who falsely confessed to being witches in hopes of saving their lives.
Some scholars argue the witch hunts were a political move to discredit female healers and midwives. The Witch’s Hammer said that old women, who held midwifery skills, could procure abortions, make the womb barren and eat children. While it fostered the image of the hag with a poisonous apple, the book also went into detail about the sexuality of beautiful women and concluded because of “carnal lust” they can be controlled by the devil.
Today it’s not likely I’ll be burned at the stake, but it’s still vexing to declare: “I’m a witch!”
I’ve been told my soul is lost because I don’t accept someone else’s religion. I’ve been completely avoided by some and called evil because I practice magick (that’s the preferred spelling by witches to differentiate us from magicians).
Harm None and Do What You Will
What they don’t understand is that magick itself is neither evil nor good; it all depends on the heart of the wielder. I can’t speak for all witches, as there are many paths. I practice a combination of ancient pagan traditions, including Celtic and Etruscan, and hold tight and true to the only witches’ law: “Harm none and do what you will.”
I grew up in an extremely liberated, sort-of-Christian household. My parents told me I could follow any religion as long as it didn’t hurt anyone. My mother was Catholic and my father Lutheran, but both of my parents had pulled away from organized religion because they believed the doctrines were inconsistent.
Even as a child I felt a great connection to the mystical. Despite this, at the age of 17 I was baptized and confirmed Catholic because my then-boyfriend’s parents told me that I risked going to hell if I didn’t.
Ironically, it was when I accompanied my former boyfriend to an occult store to buy frankincense and myrrh incense that I began to delve into numerology and books about earth-centered, feminine-friendly spirituality.
You see, I’ve been a witch my entire life, I just didn’t know it until then. It was a natural progression: my mother taught me about Mother Earth, and my father gave me my first deck of tarot cards and introduced me to environmental issues. By the time I was 18 it all came together.
Living In Balance and Beauty
When I consciously began to walk this magickal path, I feared I might be doing the devil’s work, and could suffer heavy penance for it. My spiritual advisor, Rev. Laila Lee, said she also had been told by conservative Christians that she was destined for hell. How did she handle it?
“I looked them dead in their eyes and blessed them for being on their path,” she said. “They feared it because they didn’t understand it. If they were truly living in beauty on this earth, they wouldn’t judge me.”
Love is the center of everything and spell-casting is just another form of prayer that has the power to change consciousness at will, she said.
I’ve come to understand that being a witch means to follow an ancient sacred practice that honors all of life in all its stages on this earth. It seeks to embrace and empower the divine in the feminine.
I seek to do what is right and harmonious with the balances of the earth and the universe and carry an equal appreciation for their light and dark gifts. Darkness is the ultimate opportunity for creation, the force of regeneration, the comfort of the Mother’s womb.
Today I know world peace rituals aren’t evil and healing spells to alleviate cancer are not the devil’s labor. Evil does not exist in a being who rules over a fiery hell, but in the hearts of those who harm others. That is not my path. I choose to work with the power and love the Earth and universe have to offer, and in doing so become one with everything.
Jennifer R. Catlin is a Chicago area writer & photographer.
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