Conscious Choice: The Path to Material & Spiritual Wealth

November 2004 | Body & Mind Health

The Path to Material & Spiritual Wealth

by Darlene E. Paris

Americans spend all their health pursuing wealth, and in later years spend their wealth trying to regain their health, according to Yogi Hari, a yoga master in Florida. This is true even of doctors sometimes. Take the case of Mark. When I was attending college at Michigan State, Mark (not his real name) was one of the most popular men on campus. Not only was he good looking, but his quick wit and intelligence made him extremely charismatic.

Although this pre-med major was hauntingly handsome, I was attracted to him for a different reason. Mark had incredible discipline. You could find him at the library almost every night. Even on weekends when most college kids were partying, he would be huddled over piles of books, studying. Mark had told me that he was the first in his family to attend college. Having grown up in a tough neighborhood, he believed that getting a good education was the key to improving his life.

Several of my girlfriends dreamed of becoming his lifelong companion. They believed that whatever Mark decided to do with his life, he’d be successful.

And he was. After graduating with high honors from medical school, he built a flourishing medical practice. He also attained the materialistic rewards that often accompany a carefully cultivated career: a beautiful wife, three smart kids, a brand-new house in an upscale suburb, three luxury cars, and affiliations with some of Detroit’s most influential people. From the outside, this man glistened like gold, but on the inside, Mark told me recently, he felt spiritually empty.

True, Mark was successful, but had he really improved his life?

The same discipline he displayed in college helped him build a prosperous medical practice, but at the age of 42, Mark said, he suffered from ulcers, migraine headaches, and lower-back pain. And he was overweight. When I asked if he ever took days off to spend with himself or his family. He said he didn’t have time. “I have bills to pay!” he exclaimed.

It saddened me to think that after all my friend had accomplished, he wasn’t at peace with himself or his lifestyle. And it seemed ironic that the very things that made my friends think Mark would be the perfect spouse, were the same things that were preventing him from spending time with his wife.

I could relate to Mark’s situation because there were many times in my life that I worked overtime just to impress my boss and/or obtain a higher paying position. This went on for many years until I got sick. Then I decided to make some radical life changes.

But it didn’t seem like Mark was ready for the advice I had to give him: “Just commit eight years of your life to daily meditation and you’ll be OK.” So, I decided to contact a psychiatrist who shows people how to deal with stress and see if he had ideas that could help Mark and others who find themselves struggling to have both success in their careers and peace in their lives at the same time.

Dr. Dale Buegel says it’s possible to have both material and spiritual wealth when you take time out for a bit of self reflection. Buegel, who quit practicing medicine a few years ago to focus on helping people deal with stress through yoga, meditation and other relaxation techniques, offered these suggestions:

1. Find out why you’re not at peace. A lot of people go to their jobs and hate it. Buegel calls this killing your conscious: “If you kill your conscious every day, your body will at some point reflect that by becoming ill. Your heart and your mind should agree with what you’ve chosen to do in life. If they don’t, it’s time for you to investigate more satisfying ways of making money.

2. Ask yourself how you feel about what you do. Some of us are distressed at work because we’re doing something on our jobs that doesn’t feel right. If there’s a service component whereby you’re helping others in addition to helping yourself — that’s a good thing. On the other hand, when we provide a product or service that we feel is not benefiting people, or ourselves, we don’t feel at peace. Win-win scenarios are much more satisfying.

3. Consider how you feel about the relationships you have at work. We feel good when we’re in nourishing relationships. We feel bad when we’re involved with people who discourage us or verbally tear us down. Work relationships give us an opportunity to be more compassionate with ourselves and others. “The key to cultivating good relationships is being empathetic toward others,” Buegel said. Instead of being angry at the people at work, imagine that their actions have nothing to do with you. Try putting yourself in that other person’s situation, imagine how it feels, what he or she may be thinking. Instead of fighting, find a way to make peace.

4. Use relaxation techniques to ease your mind during stressful situations. There’s a very simple technique called diaphragmatic breathing, which involves using the abdominal breath. The lower ribs flare out to accommodate the abdomen during inhalation. Lengthening the breath makes it smooth and even, so there are no jerks and pauses. Done correctly, this exercise brings about instant relaxation. Another technique is simply putting your hands or fingertips on your heart and remembering those experiences in your life for which you are grateful or have great reverence. “You should have a laundry list in your mind of situations that made you feel good,” Buegel said. Breathing into the feelings of those experiences during times of stress can help you get through frustrating situations at work.

5. Pursue your dreams. What helps alleviate stress on the job more than anything else is people working on their dreams and goals that resonate with their hearts. The adage, “do what you love and the money will follow,” is true. So forget about working and get busy finding out what it is you really want to do in life. The universe responds favorably to that. And when you finally pursue your passion, you’ll find that you’ll not only be blessed with material wealth, but spiritual rewards as well.

Darlene E. Paris is a Chicago-based writer specializing in spiritual matters.

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