Conscious Choice: Childlessness as a Choice

July 2005 | Choice Feedback

Childlessness as a Choice

I just wanted to thank Darlene Paris for her elegant article on the very personal decision to not be a mother. It takes courage to know yourself and I applaud her courage in making this decision and being brave enough to have her thoughts on not being a parent published.

Thanks, Darlene, for being a voice for others who have made the same choice.

— K.B., Seattle, Wash.

Charity Begins at Home

IT’S LOOKING like the greed and mean-spiritedness so prevalent in Washington are filtering down to my home towns of Glen Ellyn and Wheaton. In the last three months, I have seen four adults eating out of the garbage containers at Trader Joe’s in Glen Ellyn, which is just three stores down from the new Mid-America Bank that has already had an armed robbery. This location is only two blocks from U.S. Bank, which recently had an armed robbery in its drive-up facility.

Across Roosevelt Road, an older motel houses a good number of families that have lost their homes. Most of them have someone still working, but they are now living week to week in the motel because they cannot find, or afford, more affordable housing.

Two miles west on Roosevelt Road, I witnessed an eviction of a family from their residence. I wondered where the priests and ministers and social workers were that day. No one was helping these people, who were arguing with the sheriff, who had thrown their household goods on the front lawn, before being chased away.

For some time now I have observed homeless veterans, the destitute, the mentally ill, and others suffering from addictions faithfully going from one PADS shelter to another sometimes with children in tow.

These people go past our schools, see our pricey homes, eat in our fast-food restaurants, and hang out at our parks and libraries. Some of them are working poor.

I can’t help but think, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Many of us are only a step away from an illness, an accident, or a job loss that would put us in comparable straits. I am ashamed at the way we treat those less fortunate than we are. One change that might make a difference is for DuPage County to finally have two-party government so other voices could be heard; [those] that endorse Habitat for Humanity projects over teardowns, [and] stop thinking about “What Would Jesus Do?” and actually go out into the streets and do What Jesus Did.

— Richard Schickel, Glen Ellyn, Ill.

Belated Farewell to Wanky

I AM one of those funny, little old ladies who goes to the Lincoln Park Zoo and talks to the animals — so I am very sad that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Wanky, a dear elephant friend of mine. Now she has not only left Chicago, but she has left the living world.

On Sunday, April 24, I took my camera to the zoo and hoped to get a last picture of Wanky. I had seen the large crate placed in her enclosure to help her get used to her “trailer home” for her trip to her new home in an undisclosed location. (When and where must be a secret because of those “pesky” animal-rights people who are always causing so many problems.)

There was no sign of Wanky so I went back to the zoo with my camera the next Sunday, May 1. Not only was Wanky nowhere to be seen, but the shipping crate was gone.

Sad, I took a couple of pictures of the place that Wanky and her two elephant buddies had called home. I knew all three were gone now. Only this morning on the news did I hear that Wanky was not only gone, but just as dead as her two buddies.

I don’t think Wanky would have wanted me or any of her other frequent human visitors to be sentimental. She would have wanted to leave with her dignity still intact, but she would have wanted me to give you this message:

Please, Chicagoans, let’s just look at pictures of African elephants. Let’s not pretend that elephants from Africa can thrive in zoos with the kind of winters we have in Chicago.

— C.J. Herhold, Chicago

Safe Perfumes

DOES A list exist of “safe” perfumes? If yes, kindly let me know how I can acquire it. For that matter, how about a list of “safe” cleaning products that really work well?

— Valerie, Internet

Reply from from Lynn Lawson, author of Staying Well in a Toxic World, and “My Lost Love,” an article in the July, 2004, issue of Conscious Choice:

I KNOW of no such list of “safe” perfumes. In fact, almost all modern perfumes and colognes contain often-toxic synthetic ingredients in a base of alcohol itself, not free of toxicity. Even fragrances called “toilet water” (eau de toilette) will usually contain some alcohol. However, fragranced products known as “essential oils,” found in most health stores, contain botanical aromatics (from plants, flowers, and trees) and are often in a base of jojoba oil, a commonly used plant oil.

But caution is needed. According to chemically sensitive Cyndi Norman, designer of safe cosmetics, “Essential oils are highly concentrated in a form you will never find in nature. … They are broken down on the same pathways as anything else, including synthetic toxins.” Even certified organic essential oils can be a problem for the chemically sensitive, she says. Furthermore, essential oils can be sensitizing, and even those labeled “100 percent natural” can have synthetic ingredients added to boost the scent, since essential oils are an herbal product and will vary year to year, crop to crop.

Also, the 2003 opinion on essential oils of the European Parliament’s Scientific Committee on Cosmetic Products and Non-food Products Intended for Consumers is that (1) “There is no demonstration in the peer-reviewed scientific literature that fragrances compounds of natural origin are ‘safer’ than synthetics” and (2) “the data provided [by the essential-oils industry] do not justify that the opinions adopted by the SCCNFP concerning fragrance allergy in consumers do not apply to essential oils.” In other words, essential oils can be as allergenic as perfumes and colognes.

Caveat emptor (or: Let the buyer beware).

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