March 2008 | Choice Feedback
Love is Made for Me and You
Regarding your article on relationships including more than one partner:
I bare no judgment against polyamorists. But you can only achieve a love beyond your wildest and deepest aspirations with one other person.
If your love is true, there is no need, nor place, for another. You are already “three entities” or better, (as the “polyglossary” put it) a “triad.” You, the other person, and, the third entity: your bond. You have your individualism, they have theirs, and the third is almost like a separate soul formed out of your love for each other.
Adding another human diminishes your bond. You can’t completely share and give all of yourself — all of your pain, joy, dreams, desires, passions, demons — to two other people.
The hurt, jealousy, fights, break-ups, murder and even suicide that come out of these situations are not merely the result of programming or religious upbringing. They happen because of the “Universal Law” governing the unity experienced between two people in love.
Thank you for your great magazine. I love the covers and it’s a bright shining light at any newsstand.
— Gavern, via email
Batteries Not Included
I wanted to comment on the February essay by Rebecca Ephraim, Making Love out of Nothing at All. Ms Ephraim is to be applauded. Getting her significant other to attend a couples’ workshop is a feat in itself. It shows commitment by both individuals in a third entity: The Relationship.
As a young, fairly urban, single female, I have found the largesse of supposed male “sensitivity” in this century to be a bunch of horse-crap. The stereotypical male is still alive and well even in our time of evolved consciousness. I say this without bitterness. It is primarily experiential I am able to state typically “male” men are making me sick! I wonder what form of nurture-ment goes into creating a guy who is looking for another mother, who is scared of commitment, who is not afraid of using the “love” word freely without any foundation in the true meaning, whose ability to make love and be sensitive to the needs of his partner seem secondary, etc.
I would like to know where Ms. Ephraim found the beacon for her partner’s “emotional spelunking.” I cannot even find a guy with fresh batteries in his flashlight!
Keep up the good work!
— Courtney Schlesinger, Chicago
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