I’LL NEVER FORGET THE CALL. I was at work on a Thursday afternoon in June when I picked up my extension and said hello. It was my mom on the other end, and in as calm a voice as possible she said, “Well, the tests came back and your father has prostate cancer.” I instantly felt sick to my stomach. “Oh, no,” was the only response I could muster. I stood there with the phone to my ear, breathing deeply, neither of us speaking for what seemed like a very long time, until she said, “Call me back later, honey.” When I finally managed to hang up the phone, it began to sink in: Dad has cancer.
I was now part of the American Cancer Society statistic that one in every three Americans will be affected by cancer at some stage of their lives. Thoughts raced as I drove to the hospital later that night. What’s the survival rate? How bad is it? What’s the best course of treatment?
This question of treatment caused a bit of a conflict for me over what was best — conventional or complimentary and alternative medicine. My family is deeply rooted in conventional medicine. My mother was a recently retired registered nurse and my father a pharmacist at a hospital in a near south suburb of Chicago. With this upbringing, I, too, was rooted in conventional medicine and a little skeptical of alternative therapies. That was, until I started working at Conscious Choice, where exposure to alternative therapies began to open my mind to possibilities beyond conventional medicine.
I struggled with letting him decide for himself, or raising the question of trying alternatives. But, I worried: What if my father took my advice and it didn’t work? I began to understand that when it comes to a life and death decision it’s not exactly black and white.
We learned there are many factors to consider before making any treatment decisions with prostate cancer, including the age of the patient, the stage of the cancer and possible side effects. The bottom line was which treatment would most likely be curative.
I decided to let my father determine his best option without my opinion, but with my support and encouragement. Since he was only 59 when diagnosed, the decision was made to treat the cancer aggressively. Within two months of the diagnosis he went into surgery in a fight for his life. He had a radical prostatectomy, an operation that attempts to stop the cancer by removing the entire prostate gland.
The night of the surgery I went straight to the hospital from work. Everything seemed to have gone well, but I couldn’t help notice how frail he looked. Until then I was used to seeing him as a strong, vibrant guy — actively involved in my life and that of my four siblings. He coached me in Little League, ran with my brother and attended every athletic contest over the years. Now he seemed just a shell of his former self, lying helplessly in the hospital bed.
The good news was that the surgery was successful. The bad news was that the cancer had spread to his bladder and he would need further treatment. Three months after his prostate surgery, he started to receive radiation treatments five days a week for five weeks. This was combined with hormone therapy, consisting of an injection every three months for two years in order to suppress the production of testosterone.
This June it will be five years since my father began this journey, but today he’s cancer free and doing great. It’s been a long, sometimes difficult road, but as tough as it’s been for my family to deal with cancer, there have been some positives. My father’s diagnosis has since caused him — and my entire family — to live a healthier lifestyle. My father has changed his poor eating habits, he’s working out, and is generally in better shape than he has been in years. He even takes Selenium, a nutritional supplement that may reduce the risk of prostate cancer. My family is grateful for being reminded how much my father and all those we love truly mean to us. We cherish the time we have with him now more than ever, and don’t take one minute we have him for granted.
For me, the experience has highlighted how important it is for men to be tested for prostate cancer — especially those of us for whom it’s part of a family history. According to the American Cancer Society, men at high risk, such as those who have a first-degree relative diagnosed with prostate cancer younger than age 65, should begin testing at age 45, while men over age 50 should begin testing yearly. The society estimates there will be about 232,090 new cases of prostate cancer in the U.S. in 2005. But, most prostrate cancer is slow growing, and is very curable in the majority of cases, depending on how soon it’s caught. Although one man in six will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in his lifetime, only one in 33 will die of the disease.
So, for all the sons and daughters reading this who are lucky enough to still have fathers this Father’s Day, why not ask if your dad has been tested for prostate cancer? And if not, have him make an appointment. You could be saving his life. This year I feel fortunate to be able to say: “Here’s to many more wonderful years together! I love you, Pop.”
Visit www.cancer.org for more information on getting tested for prostate cancer.
James Faber (in the photo, lower left) is the production manager at Conscious Choice magazine. His PSA test checked out fine in late April, 2005.